Schools could meet their foreign language targets by including the number of pupils learning English among the total of students studying a foreign language, it was announced today. To make the figures stack up, the school would become a French school. The change could be as simple as a rebranding of the school to an ecole, thus Greater Midchester Comprehensive School would become Ecole Comprehensive de Greater Midchester.
There would be few barriers to schools wishing to become ecoles. Drinking wine with meals, smoking strong cigarettes, and answering any question with a "bof" and a shrug could be easily mastered. Unfortunately, the final requirement may be a little too much - having the ability to field a football team 'in with a chance'.
Bollocks to this, I even bored myself.