“One of the best squad sessions we ever had.” claimed Euro 2012 racial abuse co-ordinator Jan Terleki at the close of the Netherlands training session. “The only thing it lacked was a dust up with the police but I don't think we can expect much of that here anyway.”
The much relieved Jan continued “Like the mixed race England squad we have had to endure late changes for reasons beyond our control. One of our senior chanters and lead gesture designer turned out to be married to a woman who had bought clothes pegs from a Gippo and had to resign. A difficult role to fill but these training sessions coupled with a few unfriendlies we had before the tournament give us a good idea who to draft in.”
“When bringing in a replacement you have to be sure that there is some resentment and dislike between the squad members as this keeps the squad at the peak of abusiveness. If only we could have been as lucky as England and had a Terry / Ferdinand situation.”
“The Netherlands session was the ideal test-bed because we were able to abuse in many different languages and their multi-lingual players were able to catch all our insults.”
“Now my only concern is can we reproduce our most viscious, insulting, sickening, mindless behaviour when it comes to the real thing. Most of our boys have yet to prove themselves on the international stage. We were saddened to learn of John Terry's injury not being too serious after all. We had hopes of him joining our team as a coach and analyst for the duration of the entire tournament. Now we will have to wait until England fail to quality.”
Expanded from original one liner.(input from seymour totti, Rizzo and inspiration from VCG)
