Evidence of excessive socialising at the local secure facility has resulted in the Warden being officially cautioned yesterday. The facts, supplied by a Mr E Presley, include allegations of impropriety between number forty-seven and number three.
This follows the dramatic revelation by Geoffrey ‘Sad sack’ Tanner, an inmate at the Lee County Penitentiary, Florida that he was urged to dance with a wooden chair by Christopher Moran, Chief Warden at the penitentiary.
A spokesperson for the Purple Gang, an illicit organisation accused of assisting the warden by providing the rhythm section during these bouts of frenzied frolicking, said: “We dun do nuttin. Jus’ cause dese boys carry violing cases, we ain’t no pi-anna patsys.”
Mr Presley was unavailable for comment, dealing as he is with a long-running dispute with his local postman who keeps bringing Mr Presley’s letter back.