Prince Philip was today admitted to hostipal as a precaution after suffering from a sudden bout of premonitions before the jubilee pop concert.
A palace spokesman said that the prince was very looking forward to criticising each and every one of the "ghastly little people" who were to be performing for the Queen's celebrations, but that sadly "he has instead decided to admit himself to the North Kensington Rogues and Cads ward as a precaution against having to meet or even see more insufferable commoners.
It is understood that the Queen was not best pleased with her husbands dozen or so attempts to miss the concert and has arranged for the entire concert to be played at full volume on the specially installed hospital cinema screen, overriding the scheduled double bill of The Great Escape and Debbie Does Dallas that the private hospital had previously arranged for the prince and five of his close friends.
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