Racists up and down the country are wasting valuable drinking time, wandering in and out of multi-racial pubs, confused by the mainstream use of patriotic bunting in Britain's high streets.
Carshalton painter and decorator, Tony Emery, who dislikes non-whites, lamented a futile 30 minute drive around neighbouring Mitcham in search of a bar in which he could be flagrantly racist.
"The flags usually keep the darkies away, but the first place I went into was like a fucking Benetton advert. All sorts in there. I didn't think Muslims were allowed in pubs."
The skin-headed, muscular Emery eventually decided to abandon his plans for an afternoon of jingoistic bigotry to go cruising in Soho "where the flags don't lie".
Obviously I've left this a bit late, but I'll throw it out there anyway, and bump it up next time there's a jubilee.