As the British summer draws to a dramatic close after a staggering 11 days, scientists from the Met Office are hailing it as 'the longest British summer since records began in 1865'.
'It really is incredible' says meteorologist Prof. Edwin O'Leahy from the University of the Mid Northwest Midlands. 'I've had almost nothing to do. No test tubes to fill with rain, no anemometers to calibrate. Stick a thermometer out of the window for a few minutes and that's a full day's work. In fact, I've been made redundant.' Met Office figures suggest that the previous record-holding season was the summer of 69, which 'seemed to last forever' and consisted of a full 9 days of July sunshine uninterrupted by rain, hail, sleet or ball lightning.
Some are interpreting the staggeringly lengthy summer as evidence of global warming, but Sir Huemphraey Mengele-Monkton of the Suspicion Coalition remains skeptical. 'Don't believe a word of it. When I was a young viscount in the mid 1730s, summers could last as long as two weeks. There's simply nothing to suggest that man-made climate change is occurring. Increasingly turbulent weather and a global trend towards higher temperatures can be easily explained by the natural methane secretions of immigrants who are not and will never be accustomed to our natural climate.'
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11-day British Summer 'Longest Since Records Began'
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