China has told the international community to stop being such big girls’ blouses when it comes to a bit of massacre-ing.
Pressed for action against Syria after the Houla massacre China responded ‘Er, hullo? Tiananmen Square anyone?’
‘Let’s face it,’ said a spokesman, ‘sometimes slaughter makes a problem just disappear like magic! Those pussy-arse St Pauls church officials would have cleared those stinking hippies off their doorstep a lot quicker if they’d been slaughtering thy neighbour.’
‘How many pro-democracy protests have there been in Tiananmen since the last protesters were re-educated to death by tanks? That’s right.’
‘What did the world do about it? Mmm.’
‘Did we give a shit? No.’
‘Do we give a fuck about some Arabs doing a bit of throat-slicing? Again….’
Foreign Secretary William Hague said that while he appreciated China’s hard-nosed and honest ‘realpolitik’ he repeated Britain’s position on massacres as ‘not cricket’ except for those ‘done by us ages ago.’