Mark Zuckerberg is threatening to sue his advisors after an overhyped wedding failed to live up to his expectations causing a considerable reduction in sexual congress.
“The immediate aftermath of the wedding was fine” said Mr Zuckerberg. “I not only had sex with my wife but also with the wedding planner, the celebrant, and two of the bridesmaids. But that only lasted a day, and then a number of my so-called friends said I wasn’t a good lay. They said I take 100 attempts to bring a girl to orgasm, which, while literally true, ignores how much I have ‘expanded’ of late, if you know what I mean.”
Close friends say Mr Zuckerberg is devastated by the situation he finds himself in and he has become unhealthily obsessed with social media after sending friend requests to all the female members of his High School class.