England fans should be expecting great things from their team at Euro 2012, according to centre-back Phil Jagielka, as a result of their lack of belief in the England team.
'In the past, great things have been expected of England,' said Jagielka, 'But I think this time, seeing how rubbish the team is, everyone thinks we're going to lose and that might just result in us winning.'
'Of course', continued an increasingly confused Jagielka, 'since we expect nothing, that means we should expect us to win. But then again, if we expect success then that means we should expect another failure, which means we're definitely going to win. But then we will probably lose…'
After several minutes of counting on his fingers and consulting his agent, Mr. Jagielka concluded, 'I guess if we win we will win, and if we lose then we will probably have lost. I mean, if we beat all the other teams, we'll probably be favourites for the title. But then if we lose, we won't have been very successful at all.'
However, luckily for Jagielka, his captain Steven Gerrard was on hand to provide clarity on the situation. 'We haven't won much recently, even though we expected to win, and maybe that's because we lost. Maybe if we go in expecting to lose we can expect to win.'