There was widespread shock across the country today when it was suddenly discovered that whether Cheryl Cole mimed on 'The Voice' or not doesn't really matter.
A spokesman for the BBCs flagship Saturday Night music show claimed 'We were initially pretty shocked by what went on Saturday, but then someone pointed out that hundreds of people were being massacred in Syria, there's global financial crisis and our political system appears to be owned by a small number of powerful, unelected media executives and suddenly it became clear that whether Cheryl Cole can sing live or not was staggeringly insignificant'
Cheryl Cole issued a statement, but as the sounds coming out of her mouth appeared to be completely independent of the movement of her lips, this was completely unintelligible.
Rumours that Britain’s dismal showing in the Eurovision Song Contest is 'utterly trivial' and 'sodding boring' have yet to be confirmed.
