The UK has suffered fresh embarrassment following the Eurovision humiliation with a 25th placing in the 2012 Redneck Olympics.
The team selection process was slammed as the UK’s team – made up of 17 Oxbridge toffo poshos and just one solitary chav – came in 2nd last just ahead of Norway, who sent their Royal family.
The USA topped the medal tally with 34 golds, followed by perennial redneck powerhouse Australia, with China – an emerging redneck nation after heavy government investment in young redneck talent – coming in third.
Once again the Australians dominated the Power-chundering events in the Vom-odrome but the USA were too strong in the Wife-beating, Inbreeding and Moonshining.
The UK toffos looked good for a while in the Inbreeding before fading, while the chav from Hackney saved the team from total humiliation with a strong showing in the Mug-tathlon.
Team Leader Lord Coe promised a complete review and increased funding and vowed to better next year.
‘The UK has some of the dumbest, pig ignorant oiks in the world who could be world-beating class assholes if given the opportunity. We’ll be back next year to show the world how we live up to the redneck motto – dumbius, drunkius, smellius.’