An 84-year-old Windsor woman who has worked for sixty years may have to continue working into her nineties because her son is an absolutely useless twat, according to Age UK.
'Her son should be taking over her job,' said an Age UK spokeswoman, 'and letting his old mother put her feet up in her declining years, but he's more interested in talking to lilies than helping her. I'm afraid he's typical of the younger generation. He's completely homeopathic of course - and a twat.'
The woman, who is often described as 'marvellous' or 'amazing' for her age by people who have met her at garden parties, is said to be resigned to dying on the job, a pair of silver scissors in her hand.
'It's heartbreaking,' said one woman who claims to have shook the Windsor woman's hand sometime back in 1946, ' to see her still struggling to cut tapes at garden fetes or receive bouquets of flowers from toddlers.'
'Woman like her deserve some kind of recognition,' the woman added.