After a week of stalemate following the G8 Summit, the eight leaders have decided to pin all the blame for the financial crisis on George W Bush as they launched the so-called “war on error”.
Barack Obama said: “Although we have yet to work out any way to actually solve the financial crisis, we all agreed that it would help our re-election chances if we could blame the crisis on someone who the public recognise as being financially illiterate, but who evokes no public sympathy whatsoever. So going with George Bush was a ‘no brainer’”. Mr Obama denied Mr Bush was being made a scapegoat: “mainly out of respect to goats.”
David Cameron interrupted a world record attempt on World of Warcraft to offer British solidarity with the US position: “George Bush, supported by cronies such as Tony Blair, was the culprit for the illegal invasion of Iraq, and the decline of the multi-syllable amongst other things. But the financial crisis is the 'biggie' and the ‘war on error’ will continue unabated until we have found the weapons of maths destruction.”
In a surprise move, George Bush agreed that he was partly to blame for the financial crisis, but that it was really his mum and dad’s fault for having him. George Bush Snr and Barbara Bush said that was not entirely fair, blaming a lack of sex education in schools and a cheap bottle of German schnapps as the genesis of the world’s financial problems.
“German schnapps? Bush?” said Angela Merkel. “I see where this is heading … so we have to pay for the whole mess as usual?”, as she pulled $50,000,000,000 out of her pocket and asked for a receipt from the Italian PM.