The Vatican trumpeted its zero tolerance approach to crime as the Pope's butler, Paolo Gabriele, was taken into custody for the serious offence of borrowing pieces of paper that show what the Vatican is really getting up to.
Vatican spokesman Cardinal Erra said: “We have been perceived as a soft touch, but this is a reminder of our ‘hard on crime’ message. Secrets are secrets, as we take pains to tell the younger members of our flock, but it seems that adults need a reminder too.”
Paolo Gabriele said the fact that he is the first person imprisoned in the Vatican jail for over 20 years was “kind of the point”. All the same, he is said to be mulling over a deal whereby if he agrees not to reveal further details from the papers, he will be released and given a lifetime supply of free lollies.