An unlikely alliance has formed between BNP members and the UK’s homosexual community to hold an enormous Eurovision street party and be rude about our European neighbours.
An ‘up and coming’/’going to the dogs’ street in Hackney will see the two groups traditionally on opposite sides of the political divide come together in front of a widescreen TV and find common ground in a distrust of foreigners and their perversion of Great British pop music.
The party was the idea of leading local fascist Colin Kendall. “Our members believed we knew every possible way to defend our nations from the creeping menace of the Germans and the French,” he commented, “But that changed when, for reasons I don’t need to go into, I found myself in a Soho bar on the night of the Eurovision semi-final.
Undermining the frogs and krauts with catty remarks about their shoes and haircuts? Genius! Wish we’d thought of it before the local elections.”
The evening is expected to see widespread agreement about the dangers of the former Soviet states, and exchanges of conspiracy theories on how they support each other. There will follow calls from gays and neo-Nazis alike that all the Poles are sent back where they came from, so they can’t vote for the country’s entry. As the lager and cocktails flow shaven headed men from both sides of the gay/fascist divide are set to embrace suspicion as to why the Jewish state of Israel is even involved in the competition in the first place and call for the immediate sending of gunboats to Malta, for pointedly refusing to give the UK any votes yet again.
Finally, as voting progresses and the jealousy of the UK that is insidious across Europe becomes apparent, Anglo Indian lothario Engelbert Humperdink will be cheered by both sides as ‘one of our own’ despite all evidence to the contrary.
Justin Campbell, a local stylist, can’t wait for the party to start, commenting, “All these frustrated men full of barely repressed rage based on their own inner turmoil? It’ll be the most fun I’ve had since I hitchhiked to a long weekend at a motorway truck stop.”