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Man in a suitcase.

(9 posts) (6 voices)

Started 1 year ago by wallster
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wallster

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18177069

Knowing, as we think we might, that there are some chaps out there who enjoy a bit of extreme onanism; names such as David Carradine, Michael Hutchence and Kritisan Digby have been mooted; and as such I can sort of understand the 'Wank in a bag' theory around the MI6 fellow's demise. The pathologist in this article is trying to point the investigation away from the idea of nefarious 3rd party involvement, as was found at the original inquest, back towards an act of holdall hand solo.

However, even if he was enjoying a haversack handjob, why would he need to lock the bag?

Smells oddly fishy to me.

Posted 1 year ago #
cinquecento

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it's this kind of thing that puts me off buying suitcases on eBay. however I do like the idea of becoming a 'confined space expert', which is an option my careers advisor neglected to mention. what do they get paid, and what's the promotion path?

Posted 1 year ago #
weematt

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Privacy I would think. You wouldn't want someone else to climb in to the bag at the wrong moment. Market opportunity here for the internally lockable holdall.

Posted 1 year ago #
wallster

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I think you've hit the nail on the proverbial there Weematt.

Of course what would you do if you're naked inside a large bag, in the bathtub, breathlessly glopping away when suddenly someone wanders into the room, fails to hear your steamy wheezing and the echoey tap tap tap of your elbow on enammelled cast iron and decides to open the large, man shaped rucksack in the bathtub to drop in a bit of laundry, only to find the shining arse of an embarrassed and slightly suffocated secret serviceman smiling back at them.

You'd never live it down.

If only he'd thought to lock the bathroom door...

Posted 1 year ago #
Vertically Challenged Giant

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wallster - you have a wonderful way of using words to conjure up images that may well leave me with permanent emotional scars.

Posted 1 year ago #
weematt

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Take care with the zip VCG or the scars may be more than emotional!

If the bag occupant couldn't lock the bathroom door with a lock inside how could he have locked a holdall with the lock on the outside? I think the case can now be closed, from inside or outside.

Posted 1 year ago #
dvo4fun

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I think we should all respect the Coroner's verdict of 'unlawfully killed'.

How would 'lawfully killed' work then? Just wondering.

Posted 1 year ago #
Ironduke

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Police shooting madman with a gun would be lawful killing.

Now...'glopping'. Thats a new one on me. Your own little phrase, Wallster?

Posted 1 year ago #
wallster

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Alas no. I believe t'was Jasper Carrott who first drew my attention to the word several decades ago in a skit about sperm donors.

I knew I'd find a use for it eventually.

Posted 1 year ago #

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