The EU has called for a Greek referendum on withdrawal from the Eurovision song contest in a last ditch attempt to secure the future trashiness of the annual jamboree.
An emergency teleconference of European leaders was called late Friday night in response to a leaked report showing that when the competition first began, Greece overstated just how chintzy its act could be in order to qualify for entry into the traditionally cheesy contest.
'The rest of Europe cannot continue to keep Greece afloat with its own blend of crappy schmultz,' said German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
'The Greeks persist in keeping pitch and using glitter only sparingly, which is just not the spirit of the competition,' added Estonian President Toomas Hendrik Ilves.
But Greek President Karolos Papoulias has expressed shock at criticism:
'We knew the competition is all in bad taste, but we just didn't realise to what extent we had to lower our dignity in order to be deemed a credible Eurovision act,' he said. 'The referendum will give the Greek people the chance to decide if they really want to stoop to such levels,' he added.
New French president Francois Hollande is against what has been dubbed the 'Grexit'. Instead of the referendum, he proposes raising funds for an extra tacky Greek Eurovision entry this year by adding a small tax to the cost of telephone votes in the competition.
'The money would allow for a certain 'pizazz'- a few fireworks, or some extra sequins maybe,' suggested Hollande.
But the proposal was slammed by David Cameron, who interrupted a horse riding session with Rebecca Brooks to comment.
'We cannot let the people pay for Greece's new display- however terrificly gaudy it might be,' said the man responsible for privatising health provision, closing libraries and swimming pools, and scrapping rural bus routes in his country.