Publishers Activision say they are simply responding to customer demand with the release of the latest video game in the Call of Duty series which, it is rumoured will be aimed exclusively at the rapidly expanding ‘seniors’ market.
A spokesman for Activision said the video game, titled - CALL of NATURE: Comfort Break 2 - will feature the octogenarian hero Larry Travers, a cantankerous, old former Navy Seal agent who gets lost in a shopping mall somewhere in downtown Ocala and has trouble locating the nearest rest room.
The new video game, described by Activision as a ‘good old fashioned cholesterol packed inaction movie’ is set for release later this year
The grizzly old veteran Travers, who suffers with a slight prostate problem and also has a little water retention around the ankles has forgotten to take his meds and has just 30 minutes to find the nearest bathroom before his bladder gives out.
The game starts with the cantankerous Travers parking his mobility scooter in one of the loading bays outside the mall and threatening to ‘put a cap in the ass’ of anybody who dares go near it.
Travers heads straight for the ice cream parlour and it is from that point on that the action really hots up and a ‘video-gamers’ gaming skills really come into play. The Call of Nature hits Travers without warning and there is only one course of action that can prevent impending disaster in this high octane thriller – Travers mission is to find the nearest rest room. Right from the start Travers is put under enormous pressure to complete the near impossible mission and finds himself in a race against time as store after store do their utmost to lure him inside with tempting offers on cut-price cardigans and nasal grooming kits
Larry finds himself constantly distracted by the awesome window displays throughout the mall and the aim of the Comfort Break gamer is to guide our hero out of the ice-cream parlour, out into the air-conditioned corridors, past Gary’s Golf-Club sale, safely avoiding the Comfy-Bed Grotto, past Chocolate Infinity, past the donut vendor, ignoring The XXXL Ranch, avoiding the small step outside Bubba’s Bake House, stepping over that tiresome dog lead without falling into the ornamemtal pond and then into the rest room before the triple soda he bought at the drug-store starts leaking through his incontinence pad.
Gamers are set for a roller-coaster ride of trapped wind and dizzy spells as they try to guide Larry through the mall without him stopping off to buy something from one of the stores.
Activision were quick to reassure senior gamers that the new gaming consol for CALL of NATURE will come with extra large buttons, extremely large upper case lettering, clear instructions and a Sony headset that even dead people could hear through. Activision say to beat the rush for the new game, seniors can pre-order the new video for just a dollar ninety-nine if they save enough of the free coupons found on the back of any Valpak fabric conditioner sourced from their local dry cleaning store.
Movie makers say they have already started work on the sequel Fall of Duty: Hip-Ops 2 which should be out in time for Christmas, or was it New Year...although it could have been Easter...I forget now.
Coming soon...CALL of NATURE : Comfort Break 2
(4 posts) (4 voices)
Publishers Activision say they are simply responding to customer demand with the release of the latest video game in the Call of Duty series which, it is rumoured will be aimed exclusively at the rapidly expanding ‘seniors’ market.Posted 4 years ago #
Funnier than plenty of Carla Lane comedies Nerys!Posted 4 years ago #
Big UpPosted 3 years ago #
funnier than all of them. skylarking.
however, a prolapsed rectum is funnier than carla lane comedies, so scant praise indeed.Posted 3 years ago #
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