Markets soared today on the news that the Greek Government has dusted off a document revealing ownership of 17 shares in Facebook.
After today’s Facebook share float Greece can clear all its debts, tell the IMF and the Germans to get fucked, re-employ every citizen as a Public Services Manager and lower the retirement age to 35 on 400% salary.
Addressing European leaders a jubilant Greek Finance Minister Alex Pathalikis said ‘we’re back-a-fuckalopoulis suckers!’ and issued a clarion call to his fellow citizens.
‘Oh idle Greeks, abandon your protests and get back to the beaches, the kafenias, the ouzo bars and general slacking about. Greece is back to strong, sustainable prosperity on the rock-solid foundation of a website that allows people to blather inane bullshit to each other.’
Angela Merkel warned Greeks not to go back to being such lazy slackenhoffens and urged them to use their new-found wealth to economically dominate weaker countries with a sustainable long-term strategy of eventual invasion.