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1. 

   beau-jolly
   

   offline

   Member

   There must me mileage in this surely. Any suggestions?
   Your contributions?

   Posted 1 year ago #
2. 

   Al OPecia
   

   online

   Member

   "This train will be arriving on time".

   Posted 1 year ago #
3. 

   Gerontius
   

   offline

   Member

   The only way to make the London to Birmingham train more bareable would be to cancel it.

   "Tony Robinson's car has stalled on a crossing just outside Rugby, we are desperately searching for volunteers to help push him clear before the 9:15 to Glasgow comes ploughing through.Hello....hello...helllooo...anybody

   Posted 1 year ago #
4. 

   Scronnyglonkle
   

   offline

   Member

   "Virgin Trains, regret to announce that the 8:15 Manchester Piccadilly to London Euston service has been replaced by Time Team which is running 15 minuets lates, thank you"

   Posted 1 year ago #
5. 

   Midfield Diamond
   

   offline

   Member

   Brother is a guard and he reckons the humour amongst the railway workers is tasteless at best and usually offensive. For example, suicides are called jumpers, so the unfortunate soul who plunged from a bridge onto a live rail in front of an oncoming train was widely referred to as a 'triple jumper'. Not sure the staff should be encouraged to share their humour with passengers.

   Posted 1 year ago #
6. 

   beau-jolly
   

   offline

   Member

   A true Virgin trains announcement: We are pleased to anounce that we are now back on schedule. We would also like to apologise to customers expecting to be able to leave the train at the last station....

   Posted 1 year ago #
7. 

   Not Amused
   

   offline

   Member

   Welcome to the 8:15 from London to Birmingham. We have just three days to get you there.

   Posted 1 year ago #
8. 

   Mandy Lifeboat
   

   offline

   Member

   Welcome aboard your virgin train service. Our on board toilets have been pre-blocked with bog roll so if you need to flush, do consider holding it in till London.

   Posted 1 year ago #
9. 

   bonjonelson
   

   offline

   Member

   "We are sorry for the delay to this service. This was due to a person under a train at Clapham Junction. Well, to be more accurate, half a person under a train."

   Posted 1 year ago #

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