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Victim of crime

(24 posts) (18 voices)

Started 1 year ago by button
Latest reply from Psycadelic Squirrel

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button

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Someone has stolen a tree from a pot in my front garden. I'm feeling somewhat vexed.

Posted 1 year ago #
godly1966

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Call special branch. Hire a privet detective. sorry

Posted 1 year ago #
bonjonelson

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Yew left yourself open for that one, button.

Posted 1 year ago #
button

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Police have launched a root and branch investigation.

Posted 1 year ago #
Thor

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They’ll be bark-ing up the wrong tree, as usual, but don’t get needled.

Posted 1 year ago #
Scroat

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Leaf it, OK!

Posted 1 year ago #
Scroat

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Life's a beech.

Posted 1 year ago #
godly1966

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stop pineing for it.

Posted 1 year ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Oak-ey. Do you have anything to go on?
A palm-print maybe?
Sorry, that was acorny.

Posted 1 year ago #
Thor

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“Let’s be ‘avin’ yew."

Posted 1 year ago #
wallster

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Probably just a bunch of kids larching around. I hope they give 'em the birch.

Posted 1 year ago #
beau-jolly

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Could have been worse. Some one could have stolen pot from a tree in your garden.

Posted 1 year ago #
Sinnick

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Call for Inspector Gorse

Posted 1 year ago #
Scronnyglonkle

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Probably kids, they don't respect their Elders anymore!

Posted 1 year ago #
nostra da mouse

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A perennial problem

Posted 1 year ago #
charlies_hat

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Gutted, I scrolled down to add my line and Beau has beaten me to it.

Anyway, does anyone want to buy a small tree?

Posted 1 year ago #
rustytruss

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Have you called the copse? I wood but I don't suppose anyone saw anything.

Posted 1 year ago #
dvo4fun

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So, they took the tree but left the pot? What did they carry it away in? Another pot which they'd brought along?

Posted 1 year ago #
button

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Dvo that is exactly what i've been thinking. I mean, its a nice pot, why would you not take the pot? In fact I'm slightly insulted they didn't want my pot. Fussy bastards.

Posted 1 year ago #
cinquecento

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has your 'pot for sale' ad drawn any interest?

Posted 1 year ago #
Not Amused

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Dear Button,
I am sorry to hear about your tree.

If it was a relatively young tree then you are probably just the victim of the latest tree fashions. The tree equivalent of teenagers have just started to become aware of the tree equivalent of trainers (the pot in your case).

They have started to run away and find different pots to wear when they decide that their pot is no longer cool.

You can take advantage of this by having a lot of empty pots in your garden which are attractive to teen trees. You will find that trees start to appear in them.

If you are suffering from tree problems, then there are tree psychologists available who can analyse your tree's behaviour and suggest solutions. They like to be watch the wold from a high vantage point for example and putting a tree on a shelf in your garden often can make them feel more confident.

Yours

The Tree Doctor

Posted 1 year ago #
bonjonelson

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Sigh.

Tree insurance is going up again no doubt.

Posted 1 year ago #
The Nage

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What a cunt.

Posted 1 year ago #
Psycadelic Squirrel

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Was it a xylem seeker that did it?

Posted 1 year ago #

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