Deluded Socialist mental-case, and president of france, Francois Hollande is to open the magic catacombs below the Eiffel Tower and extract the magic beans of Louis from within its depths.
To extract the beans, Hollande will have to get through a series of physical and mental challenges, each one designed to test him to his very limits. The final and most difficult challenge is a test of charachter, and is rumoured to involve entering a huge caven containing an armoured Panza division.
In order to reach the beans, the challenger must take one of two sacred artifacts to try and complete the challenge, which are believed to be either a rifle or a white flag.
Nobody has ever managed to overcome the final challenge but French Socialists remain hopeful.
If successful, Mr Hollande will then be able to plant the magic beans in the Tuileries Garden, which senior French government soothsayers believe, will give birth to an almighty stalk that will summon a giant, who will then shower the French capital in IMF bonds worth trillions of Dollars, in exchange for the sacrificial offering of Carla Bruni.