Imagine waking up to discover your last remaining Woolworth's carrier bag tied up in the bin, housing last night's chicken carcass. Well for Lilian Carter, this ghoulish nightmare became a reality.
"At first I wouldn't believe it. 'Let it be Iceland', I gasped", she recalled. But no, it was the tough non-biodegradable plastic of the early 2000s, wasted on what was clearly a flimsy Sainsbury's bag job.
"I tried to rescue it, but it was truly chickenafied. I can't believe it's gone. Whenever it reaches the bottom of the trouser-leg bag-dispenser, I feed it back in the top. He (the Husband) wouldn't have even considered what that bag represented, let alone it's potential", weeped an emotional Lilian, who has since been ignoring her husband.
The husband, on hearing of the event from a friend, laughed, "I feel sorry for the poor bastard who's married to that old grouch!"