An Olympic celebration boat launched today includes in its construction a host a wooden artefacts. These include a sliver of Jimi Hendrix's guitar, passed OK by Police sniffer dogs and the arborial Liverpool football player Andy Carroll.
Manager Kenny Dalglish was happy to let Carroll go early for the summer break as the striker's next fixture was to have been on Blackpool beach subbing for one of the regular donkeys in order to strengthen his legs. "He would likely have spent most of his time getting lost in the surf anyway" Dalglish is belived to have mumbled.
Meanwhile, the Labour Party is asking for detailed response tests on the 'Ed Miliband component' it donated for the boat. It is now unclear whether it is, as intended, a wooden sculpture of the great orator or the real thing.