Hitler's second-in-command, propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels, admitted yesterday he could have 'done a better of explaining the Reich's position to the ordinary people', after a Europe-wide opinion poll showed overwhelming support for the "tell the smarmy one and the other right wingers in charge to just fuck off already" plan.
'Our policy is easily misinterpreted' declared Goebbels.' For example, many think our aim is the elimination of Jews, gays and gypsies, when nothing could be further from the truth. What we really want is a strong and growing economy across Europe, built on the bedrock of the Jew-gay-gypsy elimination industry. '
Answering charges that his government was run 'by the Aryan elite, for the Aryan elite ', Goebbels was equally dismissive. 'Not at all - our administration doesn't just please strapping blond aristocrats - we've got plenty to appeal to short dark commoners with tiny moustaches.'
Foreign minister von Ribbentrop was quick to support his cabinet colleague. 'We can't veer to the left or right every time someone accuses us of having a reality deficit. The only way is the middle path, which in this case leads to Dover. In difficult times it can be hard to take the people with us, especially when you're marching to Moscow - which was totally the right thing to do, by the way, if the boss asks.'