Mass killer Anders Brievik made one of the most unconvincing arguments of self-defense in modern criminal history at his trial in Oslo, Norway.
When told of his defense strategy, the Judge – in a break from judicial tradition – loudly exclaimed ‘fuck orfffff!’ And loudly enquired as to whether Breivik was ‘having a fucking laugh?’
Admitting to the slaughter of scores of unarmed teenagers Breivik said he was peacefully minding his own business bombing downtown Oslo when he suddenly felt threatened by a group of unarmed, peaceful teenagers at a youth camp on a small island 90 miles away.
Faced with this threat Breivik felt he had no choice but to disguise himself as a policeman, travel to the island and slaughter them one by one with automatic weapons.
‘Many of the unarmed teenagers had their hands up and were pleading very threateningly for me not to shoot them,’ said Brievik. ‘They gave me no choice really.’
Showing considerable long-term planning skills Breivik claimed a European war against Muslims would be fought 80 years from now and his self-defensive slaughtering of defenceless, white, Norwegian Christian teenagers would eventually be seen as a glorious victory – for white Norwegian Christians.
Norwegian commentators and observers were united in their verdict that Breivik seems to be sane, but also ‘a complete cunt.’