[thanks to Midfield Diamond for the idea - maybe we can squeeze a collective Left Alert out of this ? or just have a laugh ...]
Following criticism that their Waiting Room displays are being ignored, the NHS is issuing a revised message that properly reflects patients' interests.
- If you drink fewer than 21 units of alcohol a week, share your allowance with an alcoholic
- Don't put your head into a moving threshing machine, unless you're a farmer
- Did you know most people are infested with demodex parasitic spider mites ?
- Use plenty of soap before, during and after your next sexual encounter
- Laughter is the best medicine, so fuck off and don't waste our time
- We're happy to give advice to fat people, because you won't be around much longer
- If you need advice on sexual matters, please speak to the receptionist; she's happy to give a helping hand
- If you're concerned about age-related issues, don't grumble