Over recent years, the UK sex industry has seen a sharp decline in the number of men using its personal services. This is mainly put down to the tougher financial conditions along with easy access web porn and low cost Kleenex products.
However this trend has caused hard times for many of the sex industry's employees, seeing vast numbers laid off; a sad turnaround from the boom years of the 90's when many people were being regularly laid on.
This has prompted the industry's main trade association, The Honourable Guild of Penetrable Artists, to invest £1,500,000 in a new advertising campaign aimed at drumming up business and investment and reversing the droop in sales.
The Guild's Marketing and PR manager, Colin Feltcher explains:
"The recent recession has been hard on the sex workers of this country. We need to reinvigorate the industry and get people excited about sex again. To this end, we've commissioned a team from some of the top advertising agencies to come up with a new slogan that will help put commercial sex back on the average working man's weekend agenda. Football - Pub - Backstreet knee-trembler."
However, despite the large budget, early efforts have not proven too popular with the target audience.
"We thought about using old slogans that people would be familiar with, such as Naughty but Nice, I'm lovin' it and Melts in your mouth, not in your hand but these didn't quite do it for us. We were almost there with one idea, but several people thought it conveyed the wrong message, so we dropped 'Go to Work on a Prostitute'."
"We even tried to appeal to the darker side of the market with 'Try filthy unprotected sex with us - you'll not get better'."
In the end they decided to tap into the social networking meme and are test marketing with a strategically targetted poster campaing using the phrase 'Prostitution - Connecting People'.
"We believe that we've hit the nail on the head with this one", continued Mr Feltcher, "But at the end of the day, it's the punters who will ultimately decide. Until then we'll just have to suck it and see. Ooh, now I do like that..."