"I'm fed up and I don't mind admitting it," said PM David Cameron yesterday in an extraordinary outburst during his daily press conference.
"Okay I shagged Thingy with the red hair I can't remember her name friend of Rupert who is the boss by the way no question when he says jump we jump of course I'm fucking fed up frankly what the hell do people want most of them are frightful types anyway Mummy wouldn't have allowed me to talk to them when I was a child in case I caught a disease from them. What? What? Fucking right I'm fed up I'm sick to be honest I've got a bloody boil on my arse too which is killing me and I can't sodding scratch it in case the flipping cameras get it I don't know do I need this no I blooming don't I reckon and now Rupert doesn't want to know me for heavens sake."