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Expert witness

(14 posts) (14 voices)

Started 6 years ago by Vertically Challenged Giant
Latest reply from ronseal

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Vertically Challenged Giant

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Story on the BBC website about the spy in the bag:

"A third party must have been involved in putting MI6 officer Gareth Williams in the padlocked bag in which his body was found, an expert witness has said."

"Footage played at Westminster Coroner's Court showed Mr Faulding trying to get into the bag in an empty bath.

Mr Faulding said that he had tried and failed to lock the bag from the inside 300 times - and added that he was sure it could not be done."

Now this might be a silly question, but what kind of career path leads you to be considered an expert witness on the subject of failing to lock yourself inside a holdall??

Posted 6 years ago #
ianslat

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What's the opposite of an escapologist?

Posted 6 years ago #
Scronnyglonkle

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A corpse

Posted 6 years ago #
ゴルゴ１３

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Imagine his excitement when this case came up.

(In the Baker Street drawing room of Britain's most celebrated expert in not locking himself into luggage)

Faulding (reading the crime pages of the Times) : Ah, Watson, if I'm not very much mistaken, here is a rather curious case that will make full use of the very specific faculties I have honed over the years. We must prepare the hold-all at once!

et ceteras...

(Meanwhile in another drawing room, that of James de Quincey, Britain's most celebrated forensic escapologist)

de Quincey : Fuck...it's another job for that jammy cunt Faulding.

Posted 6 years ago #
Not Amused

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He was originally destined to be an origami expert but developed an allergy to paper so start to use himself. Accidentally locked himself into his briefcase after a particularly good session. The rest is history.

He has to have one of the best names for his occupation.

Posted 6 years ago #
beau-jolly

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Did I miss something here? Why do they suspect that he may have trained himself to be able lock himself in a holdall in an empty bath?
...told the inquest that locking the bag was a skill that would have required training but that once a person had done it, they could not get out.
But he would not rule out that it was possible, adding: "There are people around who can do amazing things and Mr Williams may well have been one of those persons."
Amazing, pointless and ineviatably fatal.

Posted 6 years ago #
bonjonelson

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They should have got Jonathan Creek in

Posted 6 years ago #
Yikes

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I think he was suspected because web searches reveal he was into "claustraphillia".

You learn something new some days!

Posted 6 years ago #
The All New Jeni B

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Oh a whole new dimension to stranglewanking!!

Posted 6 years ago #
writinginbsl

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i dont think the bag was big enough for johnathan creek as well

Posted 6 years ago #
Ironduke

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Opposite of escapologist...

Cat burglar?

Posted 6 years ago #
weematt

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Experts name would be even better if it was Boyle.

Posted 6 years ago #
godly1966

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It’s the cheapest way to travel on Ryan air.

Posted 6 years ago #
ronseal

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It's an open and shut case!

They should throw away the key too

Posted 6 years ago #

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