Barclays Bank is to sue Gilbert Dunn, a door-to-door insurance salesman from Watford, for mis-selling them a policy he claimed would protect them from paying out on any policies they mis-sold to their customers.
Dunn, sales rep for a small, independent insurance brokers, turned up at Barclays' Canary Wharf headquarters on his daily rounds with nothing but some glossy leaflets and a winning smile. He left, fifteen minutes later, with a new customer and the very real prospect of having his name pinned on the 'King of Commission' cork-board back at the office.
Barclays Chief Executive, Bob Diamond, is furious. 'I've seen the policy myself and disappointingly, if you actually read it, it grants us absolutely no license to fuck people over with impunity at all. That's if you can read it – the print's really small.'
'Of course, we've tried contacting Mr Dunn directly, but it's almost impossible to find a phone number on his company's website. Then, when we did eventually find one, it was just a recorded message redirecting us back to the website again.'
'Still,' he continued, 'it's now a matter for the courts and we have absolute confidence that our solicitors, Dunn and Co, will be able to achieve a satisfactory resolution.'