It's been argued that upon the Queen's demise subjecting the British public to using money featuring Prince Charles's repellent face may prove so harrowing as to contravene EU human right's laws.
In light of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee a think-tank has been investigating possible outcomes of the Queen's demise. ‘At first we considered the obvious implications of the Queen’s passing’ explained a think-tank spokesman. ‘We focused on embarrassing Diana-like public outpourings of emotion, vacuous insincere sound bites from politicians, and grossly over-budget water fountains that double as public death traps. But then someone pointed out that Charles’s face would be put on the money. A deathly shudder immediately rippled around the room. One lady began to cry'.
To investigate the effects of such a situation mock coins featuring an official image of the Prince were placed inside rat cages. It was found that the rats initially sniffed the air inquisitively but after getting close emitted an audible shriek of terror before suffering massive coronary failure. At that point the think-tank began sifting through sixty-three years of photos of the Prince seeking a less offensive image. 'Finally we found an out of focus, dog-eared, sepia-toned image of him as a baby taken from three-quarters of a mile away' continued the spokesperson. 'That was the first one that didn't kill the rats'.
But unfortunately the nine-year old daughter of one of the researchers accidentally saw the new coin design on his laptop. 'She immediately began to cry and has now started wetting the bed and having nightmares about what she refers to as "The big-eared sallow faced monster". It immediately occurred to us that if there wasn't a pre-existing law against such an abomination then there probably should be. So we sought legal advice'.
A team of human rights lawyers have decided to fight a case arguing for the total ban of Charles's face on coins arguing it would contravene EU laws relating to the creation and distribution of offensive images. In a statement during which Charles was described as having 'The kind of face that would terrorise Freddie Krueger's dreams' lawyer Martin Banks said 'We haven't dedicated our careers to releasing crazed murderers and child rapists on obscure technicalities just to accumulate large quantities of such foul, beastly, grotesque, repugnant monstrosities' before adding 'And on that basis we've taken the case'.
A ruling is expected from the European High Court in autumn.