David Cameron has again come under fire over a perceived lack of judgement today, after a contract to run the UK’s nuclear power programme was awarded to a consortium from Iran and North Korea.
The Prime Minister is increasingly under pressure after a series of high profile incidents have seemed to cast doubt on his decision-making abilities, and Labour leader Ed Miliband has accused him of being ‘disturbingly naive’ over the latest affair. But Cameron has dismissed concerns over the deal, saying that he has personal assurances from President Ahmadinejad that there is no ulterior motive to Iran’s interest in the UK’s nuclear plants.
‘Mr Ahmadinejad is the President of his country. If we can’t trust the word of a senior politician then who can we trust?’ asked the Prime Minister, ‘Not only that, he is also deeply religious and I don’t think anybody really believes that a man of faith could be involved in anything other than trying to help his fellow man, rather than utilising the technology to blow them to pieces.’
Senior figures in the South Korean government are also said to have serious concerns over the deal, and what it could potentially mean for their nation if their neighbours’ own nuclear programme is given a kick-start.
‘I can understand why South Korea would be a little cautious over this, but I would like to reassure them that this is an entirely peaceful project.’ continued Mr Cameron, ‘I know North Korea are not always everybody’s cup of tea, but I think we could all learn something from a nation where the leader is seen as a God-like figure.’
Cameron is adamant that the consortium are best placed to deliver a boom to the UK’s nuclear power industry, and insists that people will be blown away when they see the innovative proposals on offer.
'I’m really excited by some of their ideas.The North Korean rocket-propelled delivery system would see parts delivered all over the UK much faster than is currently possible, and the Iranian site clearing device could give a real boost to the building industry. I do understand though that nuclear power is a sensitive issue, so I have personally freed up one of my team from his current assignment to take sole responsibility for ensuring that the project is quasi-effectively conducted. I would like to introduce to you, Mr Jeremy Hunt.’
[A joint VCG & weematt adaptation of an original weematt idea. Concept and jokes by weematt, additional words by VCG]