In a surprise move aimed at rebutting claims that the government was secretly colluding with the Rupert Murdoch Empire, the Culture Secretary has denied being Jeremy Hunt. A statement from the Ministry of Culture, Media and Sport says that the man referred to as JH in secret emails between government and NewsCorp is not Jeremy Hunt, because Hunt is not and never has been the Culture Secretary.
A senior government source said “the very thin man with the scarf and the scared eyes has done an excellent job of appearing to be a government minister, but given time, the allegations made by Murdoch’s men will show he is nothing of the sort.” And in a separate development, a man answering the exact description of Hunt has said he was a hair stylist from Egham called Jocelyn Halliwell, and not the man responsible for deciding to give Rupert Murdoch a great deal of power.
A Downing Street source said “The confusion at the heart of this affair is to do with the unfortunate similarity between the initials of a Minister of the Crown and a hair worker totally not at all anything to do with politics, who may cleverly have given the impression to one of Murdoch’s masters of the dark arts that he really was capable of influencing government policy. It’s a simple matter of mistaken identity which can quickly be settled To Lord Leveson’s total satisfaction.”
David Cameron will, it’s understood, appear in the Commons to deny knowing Hunt or Halliwell, to deny Hunt’s alleged membership of the cabinet, and to scotch rumours that he lent him any sort of horse. And Mr Halliwell, who bears a striking resemblance to the alleged Culture Secretary will also appear before Lord Leveson with exact details of his summer holiday plans, and a sample of DNA.