Following the release of a sex tape with a woman who is not his wife or official mistress John Terry has argued ‘her run took her into me.’
Many people question how Terry could make such a claim given the video evidence but an unrepentant Terry continued, “I have now seen the replay and I can understand why people feel the way they do. It looks like it is intentional. What happened, however, was series of unfortunate coincidences. First off all, I had strained my groin earlier that day, causing blood to rush to the general area. The build-up in blood can cause an erection. That’s just medical science.”
This was only the beginning of his troubles, “After training I was walking home with a close friend, the woman in the video, when it began to rain. We rushed home, taking our clothes off. Sitting around in damp clothes is a good way to get sick; I’m a professional footballer I can’t get a cold right now. We were both tremendously embarrassed so I covered my eyes as she ran to get a towel. She checked her run which caused me to go up the back of her. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not that kind of player. I need to see the white of their eyes as they orgasm”
After questioning why he didn’t pull out immediately Terry responds, “Back spasm. An old injury flared up causing me to jerk my spine backwards and forwards, gradually gaining momentum as I go. It’s dangerous not to let this play out completely which is why she is asking me not to stop. She is just concerned for my health. Eventually I settle on a position, which is good for my back, explaining why she screamed, ‘Right there. Right fucking there.’ It was completely innocent.”
Chelsea team-mate Frank Lampard defended Terry, “Myself and the rest of the team were right behind John on the night. We were all lined up waiting our turn. Ashley was on camera as he has the experience. “
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Sex Tape Makes It Look Worse Than It Was Says Terry
(10 posts) (10 voices)
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Posted 1 year ago #
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Love it. Terry shown to be a lying weasel until he saw the TV, and then we are expected to put up with "what an honest guy for coming clean" comments...
Posted 1 year ago # -
Very funny!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Very good, much peace be upon you. Needs some paragraph breaks and perhaps another angle to be truly enlightened.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Brilliant.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Five starts from me, Mr Terry has always been good in either box!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Oh no, had he sneaked in by the back door?
Penalty ref!!Some stars.
Posted 1 year ago # -
A perfect mirroring of a sad situation.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Offside!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Really like this, really can't stand John Terry.
Posted 1 year ago #
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