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Watch out! There's a Sharpehunter about


(27 posts) (18 voices)
  • Started 1 year ago by yussle
  • Latest reply from Quaz

Tags:

  • All girls together!
  • Facebook
  • How’s your wife?
  • I’ll be back
  • leeks like an Aussie girls pussle
  • pillow fights in the girls' dorm
  • Poirot is my hero
  • pussle
  • Saltire and his bum-chums are cunts
  • Westwell is my hero
  • which hunter general?
  • witch-hunter general
  1. yussle

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    Member

    I didn’t suspect, or even think about, Mr John Ffetch Cocksucker being Sharpehunter until he called me Saltire. Only Sharpehunter is obsessed with Saltire but JFR had had no contact with Saltire, who’s only commented once while JFR’s been a member. However, Cocksucker’s been using multiple names to tag me and Sharpehunter has a history of multiple usernames, quite often having conversations with himself to boost his subs. There’s also the similarity in the apoplectic rage he whips himself into whenever he feels slighted. There’s no doubt Cocksucker is yet another reincarnation of Sharpehunter.

    Of course it isn’t just Sharpehunter who’s been leaving his arse wipe behind, Beau not so Jolly has been doing his share of shit smearing as well.

    Beau Jelly Brains thinks he’s got a system to wheedle out the tagger. Of course he hasn’t but there is a way. You can tell who’s tagged you even if there are several people logged in at the time. Names Sharpehunter’s used recently are Mr Target and Dexter. Used last week were: Red Tex, Not Now, Be Reasonable and Lars Torders, with another I’m not 100% on. Coldstream is another from a while ago.

    You might think it doesn’t matter and it doesn’t until it happens to you. Once he’s got his fix on you he clings to you like a baby alien on John Hurt’s face. I really do think he’s got a serious problem. Looking back at a bit of his history you can see him being as nice as pie to Rikkor as JFR but a total bastard as Dexter and Lars Torders. I also noticed that he’s gone back into my history tagging stuff from weeks ago.

    This guy seriously needs treatment, or a bullet.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  2. Vertically Challenged Giant

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    Member

    I have no idea who Sharpehunter is, but does it really matter?

    If you post something that people like they will say so and give it stars. If it's good it will get used on the site, regardless of any petty, anonymous abuse from somebody with an axe to grind or whether it has been 1-starred by somebody with multiple usernames.

    I seemed to attract somebody who liked 1-starring my posts if they got into the top 10 a while back. That was the conclusion I reached anyway, it might just have been that they were shit and I was too arrogant to see it. The result was that I stopped paying attention to the ratings my subs had and just concentrated on any comments I'd had instead for feedback. I did moan about it a bit first, but then I got over it.

    I think you might be wrong about Mr Target too.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  3. CollieP

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    Member

    I agree with VCG, people with multiple usernames are pathetic.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  4. PollieP

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    Member

    I agree with VCG and CollieP, what's the point of having multiple usernames anyway? It's just stupid.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  5. Spartacus

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    Member

    I disagree with VCG, CollieP and PollieP and think they're all cunts.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  6. Cocksucker

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    Member

    Hear hear.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  7. beau-jolly

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    Member

    Oh, ffs!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  8. God

    offline
    Member

    I'm warning you. PLAY NICELY.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  9. Hercule Poirot

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    Member

    Ladies, Gentlemen, Ms Evans. Thank you for joining me here in the billiard room, I can only apologise for this enormous billiard table which is right in the way of everything.

    Now, when he was called in to examine this most foul - FOUL! - of cases, Hercule he thinks to himself "this is no common or wimbledon crime, no? It is slander of the first water." First water, then leave in a sunny area and see what comes up. Hercule wonders why Mister Yussle should be persecuted so; Hercule wonders why he is referring to himself in the third person. It is enough to make you il.

    Let me present the facts squarely in your front, Mesdames, Monsieurs et Evanses.

    No one suspected, or even thought about, Mr John Ffetch Cocksucker being Sharpe*unter until, UNTIL, M./Mmes./Evanses HE CALLED YUSSLE 'SALTIRE'.

    Now, as our host Mr Yussle rightly says, only Mr Sharpe*unter is obsessed with Saltire.

    But, and it's a BIG but, is it not, Mlle Evans? As our host points out, Mr John Ffetbchch Corkslanger had had had had no contact with Saltire! This 'Saltire' who himself, by practically his own admission, has commented only the once in all the time Mr Jjohn Ffelch Cordswainbadger has been a member!

    But this is not all, mes petites furs. I wish it was not was so, but it is what not was so is.

    You see, mes braves, this 'Cordswainbadger' has himself used the multiple names, or this there cannot be any doubt. Now, M. Sharpec*nter has himself the 'istory of the multiple names, is it not so? No? Oh. And the apoplecticalic rage, into the which he whips himself? Is she not also 'dans les salles de bains'?

    Yes, there can not be the doubt, the slightest, that the two gentlemen who we watched sharing a drink and dry hump in the bar that night, les Monsieurs Cockhunter and Sharpesucker are ONE AND THE SAME MAN!

    I know what you will say: "Get off my leg". And so I move on.

    And so, I cut to the cheese. It is clear, is it not, that Mr Target, Dexter, Red Tex, Not Now, Be Reasonable, Lars Torders, The Pope, Neal Doran, John O'Farrel, Biscuit O'Barrel, Lisbeth O'Carrol, Mary Evans, Team Biscuit, Admin, newsbiscuiteditorialteam, uuuuuUUUUUUUUUUNNHGHGhghhghgh, nnnmmmmnmmmnmmmnmmmnmmuuuuuurugrgrghhhhh, frrrr'tp frrrrrrr'tp frrrrrr'tp and Jesse Big ARE ONE AND THE SAME PERSON!

    You may think it does not matter.

    But my God, it matters. It matters like the devil, ladies and gentleevans. When our host Mister Yussle tells us he has spent every waking moment of the last year tracking down this fiend, what can we say?

    Just this, my friends. "Back up your little grey cells. But not now."

    Posted 1 year ago #
  10. God

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    Member

    Did somebody call?

    Posted 1 year ago #
  11. Mr Target

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    Member

    Fantastic analysis, M. Poirot.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  12. Hercule Poirot

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    I thought so. And apologies again for the billiard table.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  13. The All New Jeni B

    online
    Member

    That's cleared it up marvelously M. Parrot.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  14. beau-jolly

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    Member

    Gosh! Who would have thunk that? I may have inadvertently pointed a finger at myself by not stating my case as clearly as Mr. Pwarott done. ( Duh! )

    Oh, and apologise to Herc for this too. Sorry!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  15. The Nage

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    Member

    So it's come to this has it?

    Posted 1 year ago #
  16. Hercule Poirot

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    Member

    As you say, this is to what it has come. I only wish it would not have of not come with to which to woo.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  17. grumblechops

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    Member

    I first started writing for NB back in 2006 and thought i'd rejoin recently, but the whole tagging thing actually really puts me off. Back then there seemed to be a close-knit community of writers who actually contributed to others stories or gave suggestions. Now there's this anonymous abuse function its just like the bottom half of every other forum on the Internet

    Posted 1 year ago #
  18. JohnA

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    Member

    I think the tagging thing should be turned off. It is just a way of anonymously posting abuse and it cannot be used to search for anything.

    That said, concentrating on the responses and paying no attention to the tags is good advice, even if it comes from the talented bastard VCG.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  19. Vertically Challenged Giant

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    Member

    I just got a banner ad for tags4u.com. That made me laugh more than anything other than Poirot's comments today.

    JohnA - you want to watch who you're calling talented pal, some people don't take kindly to that sort of language.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  20. Al OPecia

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    Member

    I've only ever had one alternative name, and that was "FormerlyAlOpecia" because I couldn't work out how to get my old name registered, then the Nice Admin Person did it for me.

    I think someone on here has been mixing prescription drugs with alcohol. It's great, but I try not to post when doing it.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  21. Ironduke

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    Member

    I think a large helping of prunes required!

    Still, looks like someone has been playing the same game for over a year now

    Look what I got called!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  22. yussle

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    Member

    Just got round to reading you tour de farce Mr Poirot. Excellent work, for a Belgian. I feel I should have come to you in the first place to solve the mystery. Now could you tell me how I get out from under these lists of crossed out names?

    Posted 1 year ago #
  23. thisisall1word

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    Member

    How long till the ed realises that every single user on this site is, in fact, a part of his exponentially cracking phyche and that he has been having a long and protracted bitch fest with different aspeects of himself?

    We all all saltire.
    We are all sharpehunter.

    @grumblechops - who were you back when? Or - who did you think you were?

    Posted 1 year ago #
  24. grumblechops

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    Member

    Yeah i did think about revealing myself, as they say...

    there were some who called me behavedave. you may remember me from such pieces as Bush: Iran has mythological weapons and Uncapped player retires from England squad. i realised i got my dates wrong as that one was my first ever sub on NB.

    i feel like i've just come out!

    Posted 1 year ago #
  25. Hercule Poirot

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    Member

    Enchante to have been of assistance, Monsieur Yussle.

    Now there only remains the small matter of my fee...

    Posted 1 year ago #
  26. yussle

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    Well of course Hercule. By the way did I mention I was Greek? You loan me the Euros and I'll be happy to pay you, say half now and another quarter when you've loaned me three times the amount.

    Posted 1 year ago #
  27. Quaz

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    Let's ask the essential questions. Is it almost Friday? Where can I get cheap beer and petrol?

    Posted 1 year ago #

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