English folk celebrated traditionally on Monday in memory of popular reptile murderer Saint George, a man lauded for the homicide of the world's last remaining dragon in an act George himself described as "a right bloody hoot."
The murder of reptiles was for many years considered a noble and worthy act, Saint Patrick having famously made his name through the brutal splatting of all the snakes in Ireland. Countless lesser saints were beatified for similar acts including Saint Gerald of Fife who was famed for throwing a turtle into a wall really hard from two feet away.
It wasn't until 1965 that the Vatican removed the slaughter of defenceless reptilians as a prerequisite of beatification.
Cambridge expert Professor Phil Lord commented “It is only recently that society has deemed that killing sentient beings for no reason is a bad thing. I'm still undecided on the issue."