A Croydon man who admitted he's not going anywhere nice for his holidays and that he hadn't got any plans for Xmas has been banned from every branch of Hair Associates in the country.
A judge imposed the restraining order after Kevin O'Sullivan repeatedly refused to accept offers of small talk and was found guilty of anti social behaviour. "In the Facebook age, a hairdreser has every right to expect your personal life to be in the public domain, and Mr O'Sullivan has shown almost criminal contempt for the court of public opinion."
Lawyers for Mr O'Sullivan tried to argue that he wasn't planning on going anywhere this summer as he faces an uncertain future at work. However, the judge dismissed this defence, pointing out that his hairdresser should hear about this potential human drama. Counsel for the defence accepted that there could be no excuse for not having any plans for Xmas, and apologised to the court on his behalf. A plea, that he was scared that politically correct mandarins had made him afraid to discuss Xmas, was accepted.
Since O'Sullivan had apologised and co-operated with the court, a more serious charge of trying to ban Xmas was dropped. If convicted, he could have been sentenced to death by crucifixion, which would have run concurrently with his restraining order.
After a verdict had been reached, it then emerged that O'Sullivan had a long record of anti social behaviour, including an incident where he didn't join a mexican wave, a refusal to sponsor a man who was going on a cycling holiday for charity and not signing a leaving card for a colleague at work who he didn't really know.
After the sentence was passed, Mr O'Sullivan then ran a gauntlet of angry hairdressers, charity huggers, zany charity fun run clowns and leaving do organisers, who banged their fists on the departing prison van and chased it down the street.
"He's a marked man," said one hairdresser, "he won't be getting a kut and blow dry any time soon."