A new government report to be published this afternoon has revealed that every 15 year old boy has had sex. The leader of the report, Lord Hanson said, ‘Most have had intercourse numerous times and with many different partners.’
The report focused on one school, which cannot be named based on the amount of underage sex taking place. Among those named as the sexual partners are classmate Milly Lawson, teacher Miss O’Neal and Rhianna.
Spokesperson for the Good Ol’ Days Group Peter Hardgreaves moaned, “It’s a damning report about the state of the British Society. When I was 15 I was nervous holding a girls hand never mind having sex. If I had been asked I would have lied and said I had, sure, but I would never have actually did it.”
An alternative view is that we should embrace this as a sexual awakening, “This is a great opportunity,” argued Janet Jeter. “13% of the boys, when asked, said they didn’t know what foreplay was, the rest said they only had threesomes so far. We should teach them foreplay because that’s important too damn it.”
In response to the report the Government are planning to up sex education. They feel it’s important to teach kids how to use condones and the pill correctly, as well as explaining that you can get pregnant from the wheel barrow position.
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100% of 15 Year Old Boys Have Had Sex
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