Sensational hook-handed saxophonist, Abu Hamza al-Masri gave his UK farewell performance last night, rounding off his sell-out 'Incarceration Nation' tour. Audiences were wowed by his note perfect rendition of Gerry Rafferty's 'Baker Street' which ended the night with a huge bang; albeit a metaphoric one, resulting in zero fatalities.
Critics lauded his performance and one fan even claims, "He makes playing saxophone look so ridiculously easy! Kenny G can go suck a jazz dick!"
Hamza responded to the unanimous positive acclaim, as only a modest terrorist extremist knows how, "I thank fans very much. But I play saxophone for many, many years now. It required a lot of practice. I am happy the fans like my music, hopefully it can help promote the message of peace, love and racial hatred."
Upcoming amateur session musicians, U2, played along side the jazz-terrorist, filling the illustrious role as Abu Hamza's backing band. "It was a total honour to play alongside Mr. al-Masri", claimed their fresh faced singer, Bono. "I've been in the business a couple of years now - well, around forty - and I can honestly say I've never seen such a fine saxophonist. Plus, he has finally given us our big break."
Toy guitarist, David 'The Edge' Evans added, "I might not know much about music, but I reckon Abu Hamza looks a little bit like the drummer out of the Baker Street music video. The only difference is that the drummer had strange wooden sticks for hands, not hooks."
Abu Hamza al-Masri is set to embark on a star studded US tour following his UK success, when he is extradited state-side later this month. Featuring support from fellow inmate Charles Manson and his rock band Helter Skelter, Manson expressed utter joy on joining the jazz-circuit band wagon, claiming the reason for getting on board was, "I thought fuck it. Why not."
Fans from North America are surely in for a treat then and will no doubt welcome Hamza with open arms and a good firm handshake. His 'Alca-jazz in the Alcatraz' tour is all set for May and is reported to be selling out already. Before he leaves British shores, this humble reporter wishes such a fine musician the best of hook.