Iran’s mum has today issued a formal complaint to headmaster, Ban Ki-moon, over allegations that her son is being continually picked-on in nuclear arms races.
Nuclear arms racing has been a popular children’s pastime since August 1945, when America ran out of double-maths, two minutes before the break time bell, and went off in the playground, famously flattening the Sports Hall, and Japan.
The other kids started to join in over the following decades, with early adopters Britain, Russia and France joining in the fun. South Africa started playing for a brief spell, but none of the other kids liked him because everyone knew he was a dickhead, so he was forced to stop.
Nobody really knows if Israel plays or not; when he’s not holding Palestine in a headlock and giving him wedgies, he just stands there shouting at everyone, and looking weird.
“It’s proper good” said Britain, “It’s not for pussies though, sometimes it can get well-mental”, he continued, “Me and America almost had a scrap with Russia back in ’62, but he ran off in the end. He said it was coz of the Dissolution of the Soviet Union, but we all reckon it’s coz he’s gay”
Iran’s mum said in a statement to our correspondent, “Ever since those little shits, India and China, turned up it’s been getting worse”, but PTA members believe that Iran’s difficulties started when his dad, the Shah, moved out. Iran’s mum moved in with Ayatollah Khomenei and Iran had his name changed from ‘Persia’. Ever since then he has struggled to fit in with the others and has had difficulty talking to women.