With Fracking all over the news, the government has sought to put the public’s fear at ease in a manner similar to the tanker drivers dispute, by changing some of terms, names and reported side effects associated with the process.
From today the following terms will now be reclassified as follows:
Fracking will be renamed “Rock Tickling”
Fracking related earthquakes will be refered to as “Temporary geological adjustments”
Flaming tap water is now known as “Super heated water”
Contaminated ground water is to be sold as a fizzy soft drink called “Dr Crippen”
5 Things you didn’t know about Rock Tickling
1. Fracking was developed in 1947 by Halliburton as way of blowing things up to obtain Oil and Money, Halliburton are still using this business model in Iraq
2. Fracking has been banned in the EU by Germany, France & Bulgaria, Coalition Ministers believe they are only doing this to make Britain look bad
3. Jim Henson’s Fraggle Rock was originally going to be called Fracking Rock and was to feature exploding Muppets
4. 1.8 Million gallons of water are required on each fracture, this means that unfortunately Government constituancies in the South East, Midlands and Yorkshire will not be allowed to play
5. Argentina has some of the globes largest shale gas deposits and is believed to be reason why it recently “Fracked over” Spanish company Repsol.