IMF raises target for global growth by this much <------------------>
The IMF has said that economic growth will grow by over an inch on most PowerPoint Presentations globally this year.
Governments from around the world have agreed that by implementing a 640 x 480 resolution and changing the scale used on both sides of the graph, the global economy can look forward to increased gains in future quarters.
Most of this economic growth is based upon the prediction that if a new £20 note is launched, as expected, it will be 5% larger than the previous note.
In addition, manufacturing has been boosted with the knowledge that all goods will be 2.5% bigger in size, giving the boost the sector required. A litre will now become 1025 milliliters and 1 kilogram will become 1025 grams.
A economics professor we asked refused to comment on this story simply stating "This is nonsense. how will any of these measures help? now give me back my lunch money."
The outlawing of downward or horizontal arrows and graphs is hoped to boost confidence and reduce the possibility of a double dip recession. Fans of the swizzlers manufactured 80's sweet groaned in unison as some journalists tried to link their product with the economic climate for the umpteenth time.
Other government backed initatives included;
Changing the word recession to 'super happy fun time'
Buying shares in daytime TV production companies
and backing a 'dead cert' in the Kempton 3.30 with £1 trillion