The next incarnation of the Worlds most used operating system will only be available in two versions, Windows 8 ME (Mute Edition) and Window2 8 RT (for mobile devices), Microsoft announced earlier today.
The sudden odd naming came about as Microsoft set out to quash all rumours that Windows 8 would be delayed after Vice President of Music, William Bernstein, issued a court writ against his employer on a dispute over repeat fees.
The Redmond based goliath, which only last year banned the word Google from its spellcheckers, refused to be drawn on the detail. However, Angelina Matthuser, a receptionist, confirmed that Mr Bernstein was not taking any calls today, not least of all because he no longer has an extension number. The business that brought the world WindowsTM after seeing the idea at Xerox lab in Parc, said that it was not in the music business and was working at ways of getting around the current litigation that was simply getting in the way of a great new product.
Bernstein supporters cited that without his musical genius Windows, and indeed the world, would be without classics such as Tada and Logoff. Although small, these pieces have been particularly influential in the current state of 'Power On!' music.
The claim for repeat fees goes back to Windows 3.0 and could run into the billions of billions in terms of number of plays. Bernstein himself admitted it was a difficult number to substantiate and that any legal team should not be put off by the enormity of the task.
Microsoft kicked back on the number by issuing a counter writ on Bernstein claiming that as Windows Millennium was deemed a flop all digital rights ended with its release as new performing rihts were agreed for subsequent incarnations . The following success of XP, otherwise known as The Operating System that Refuses to Die, has only served to further reignite the issue.
In a strange twist Apple became involved at the last minute by buying the rights to all of Bernstein's Windows music and placing them on iTunes at $0.39 a download. Apple lawyers then followed this up by serving notice on Microsoft to either remove the music or pay up. Microsoft clearly annoyed by this last action stated that the ditties were not Bernstein's to sell in the first place and therefore the action had no basis in law. At this point Samsung was itching to get in on the action and accused Microsoft of basing the Xbox 360 dashboard on an early Galaxy design. Microsoft refused to be riled by this and completely ignored Samsung.
Microsoft later admitted that an 'Audiotainment' pack would be made available in certain markets for ME editions, but refused to confirm whether 'tada' would be part of this.
A late statement from a Microsoft employee who refused to be named said, 'This would not have happened in Bill's day.'
Expect this to run and run.