The equestrian equivalent of the Paralympics has once again failed to return a winner, according to an Aintree spokesperson.
The race, which is open to any horses who have died or broken their legs during the main event, resulted in four runners, all of whom began to run while sitting on their jockey’s back.
Four jockeys were subsequently shot. Human rights campaigners have denounced the sport as inhuman and cruel.
* * *
Not mine, I just wrote it. Inspired by Charlie in the chocolate chat-tory