A carjacker who left a Peugeot 306 containing two toddlers smouldering in a ditch has admitted that the Baby on Board stickers failed to have much of an impact on his decision-making process.
The car, since written off, was fitted with a total of two child-awareness stickers – Mummy’s Little Princess in garish pink, plus a Cheeky Monkey badge featuring a scaled-down picture of a smiling chimp, which the owner felt was an accurate representation of her son’s personality.
The Peugeot owner, Melanie Davis, said ‘The stickers were clearly visible in the rear windscreen, together with a further one bearing the humorous message ‘Are we there yet Dad?’, a clear reference to the fact that my ovaries are working perfectly and I am in a blissful marriage with the person who impregnated me.
Her assailant, who handed himself in after two hours of constant mithering, claims the Princess sticker was badly positioned and its central plea for special consideration was lost in a moment of blind panic.
He said, ‘Bear in mind I’ve just robbed a bank, bruv. ‘
‘Yeah, I did see the Cheeky Monkey one but I took this to mean the owner was in charge of some kind of simian. ’
Halford’s have since ordered a recall on all child-awareness stickers produced since 1998 insisting most healthy people see them as the ultimate justification to drive right up someone’s arse.
Halford’s spokesman Ralph Gerald said
‘These are historically shit items purchased by cunts who shouldn’t breed.’