After scoring the winning goal in the local Seven a side pub finals Dave’s mate has made the case for him to lead the line for England this summer. It continued his fine form this season, the peak being the 11 goals he scored in Woolchester Arms 38 to nothing victory over The Kings Ransom over 60 side.
He has 77 goals this term, more than doubling Wayne Rooney’s haul. “That’s what we need at the end of the day,” his mate said, “a goal scorer. Sure, he can’t run, jump or pass but put that ball in the box and he’ll get on the end of it. And he has a better first touch than Andy Carroll.”
A campaign started to have care taker England Manage Stuart Pearce watch one of his games has received 27 likes and 1 share on facebook but efforts to have Robbie Earle retweet the link have been met with disappointment.
“He’s an honest, hardworking player. He’s not one of these namby pamby professional, feigning injury at the slightest contact. If he stays down it’s because he is still drunk from the night before. Even then he just needs the magic sponge wiped over his face. By ‘magic’ I of course mean drenched in whiskey.” For his part Dave has entered into a rigorous training regime, playing FIFA 12 the hardest difficulty and watching the Bobby Moore Carlsberg Ad religiously.
“If he isn’t picked we will still cheer the team on, of course. We won’t be going to either Ukraine or Poland; unfortunately we can’t go to overseas tournaments. Not being allowed in the Ukraine caused we bottled a German in South Africa. Bizarre.”
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Dave Should Go To Euros Says Mate
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Posted 6 years ago #
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