Reuters - 13 April 2012. Rangoon.
David Cameron, on a visit to Burma, spoke to the press after a meeting with pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi in Rangoon.
"When I sit, you sit. When I kneel, you kneel. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!" said Mr Cameron.
Mr Cameron confirmed he had ordered Aung San Suu Kyi to use 'the finest gold chopsticks' to allay fears that the 'British were not scientific enough to know how to use chopsticks'.
In honour of his historic visit, Mr Cameron announced that '...Pairs of male elephants to be released into the forests of America. There it is hoped that they will grow in number and the people can tame them and use them as beasts of burden.'