A mother from Didcot has been talking about the devastating moment the joy of child birth turned to despair following the birth of a baby boy earlier this year.
For Sarah (not her real name) the feelings of motherhood turned from intoxicating euphoria to desolation in the space of just a few seconds when she discovered the little bump she had been nurturing over the past nine months was not the child of her dreams but in fact a perfectly normal, healthy child.
‘We had been hoping for a child suffering from something like Down Syndrome or cerebral palsy or at the very least a congenital heart defect, but when his head popped out I could tell from the midwife’s expression he was perfectly healthy....I was devastated. At first I found it difficult to accept, I couldn’t hold him....refused to believe the child was mine.
We had gone against all the latest medical advice, I had started smoking and drinking heavily, Richard sewed lithium batteries into his underwear and slept with an old X-ray machine between his legs...we did everything possible. We stole from the collection plate at church, spread rumours that the vicar was a child molester, Richard even drew a big hairy cock on the stained glass image of Jesus dying on the cross but none of it made any difference.
We were still blessed with a perfectly healthy baby boy. Richard blamed himself, insists there must be something wrong with his sperm - keeps saying it was all his fault and he should have knocked me about a bit more during pregnancy.
If only I had gone on to heroin at the fetal stage instead of hanging on for the body to develop beyond the possible termination deadline. The little kick inside turned into an almighty kick in the teeth.
How could God have done something like this to us’?
What will it be like for him in later life, people nudging one another, whispering under their breath how handsome he is, calling him things like Adonis and wanting to be his friend. I can picture little children chasing him around the supermarket pointing at him and asking him if he can be their daddy. Everybody will want to sit next to him on the bus.
I even made some fluffy callipers to hang in the car – I guess I’ll have to make stupid football boots instead.We had planned to go straight from pushchair to wheelchair but it won’t be long before he’s walking without so much as a stabiliser now. We’d even made a little mobile with lots of little wheelchairs and dialysis machines to hang above his incubator.
We even moved house so we could be near a special needs school. John dreamt of him hobbling over the line for his country at the Paralympics or waving to us from one of those wheelchairs behind the goal at Stamford Bridge.
Parents know exactly what it is like. At first you want silly things...you want the baby to be incredibly handsome, to be intelligent and gifted and popular, surrounded by friends....but in the end all you really hope for is that the child is born deformed in some small way.
Isn’t that right parents’?
Parents suffer 'special needs' heartbreak
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A mother from Didcot has been talking about the devastating moment the joy of child birth turned to despair following the birth of a baby boy earlier this year.Posted 2 years ago #
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