Glasgow Rangers have successfully come out of administration today having been bought by a Middle Eastern Oil Company.
Dubai Oil Services or DubaiOS as it is also known, today overcame its final hurdle to purchasing the club by passing the SPL’s “Fit and Proper ownership test” although the official receiver is unclear why largest creditor Ticketus suddenly dropped its £27 Million claim.
DubaiOS say they want to tap into Glasgow’s under exploited Muslim community and is planning a radical shake up of the club, this includes realigning the Ibrox stadium, so that the Govan Stand faces Mecca, Minarets’ to placed on all floodlight towers and the Rangers manager’s name being changed to Ali McCoist.
Fans will also notice new initiatives including halftime stonings, the replacing of Directors and fans singing of the “Sash” with a new Rangers themed call to prayers, whilst in the clubs souvenir shop stocking new Royal Blue Hijabs as well as Burka’s featuring “Bocanegra 18” however there is bad news for away fans as the Ibrox stadium is expected to become alcohol free and pies will be unavailable during Ramadan.
A spokesman at bitter rivals Celtic said “Of course we are delighted that the Old Firm games will continue on into the future and we think the new owners will help diffuse recent sectarian tensions as we are not sure if they are Catholic Muslims or Protestant Muslims”.